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Poetry Narrative I know she lies
 

I know she lies Hot

She promises, she smiles, she beguiles,
but I know she lies, and through smiles a child hides.

 She says that she'll be there for me, care for me,

but when I ring her up she’s never there.


Sometimes, she telephones and I gush.

I smile even though I’m on my own.
life is so full for her, you see,

she hasn’t time to spare for me.


Then came the change,
work found me.

I became sought after, head hunted!

I worked long hours, socialised, danced. 

I became whole and life was good.


She called me one day to complain,

said I’d ignored her needs,

done her ill deeds, was never there for her.

So I cancelled all my meetings,


bought a train ticket and went to visit.

When I arrived I'd become invisible; ignored.
She promises, she smiles, she beguiles,
but I know she lies.

User reviews

Average user rating from: 3 user(s)

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Overall rating: 
 
9.1
Readability:
 
9.3   (3)
Structure:
 
8.7   (3)
Content:
 
9.3   (3)
Technical:
 
8.7   (3)
Emotional:
 
9.7   (3)
 
 

Mother Hen

Overall rating: 
 
8.6
Readability:
 
9.0
Structure:
 
8.0
Content:
 
9.0
Technical:
 
8.0
Emotional:
 
9.0
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful

That is a great write! I can relate to that situation. Thank you for this.
-Dana

 

Felt a longing of a mother

Overall rating: 
 
9.6
Readability:
 
10.0
Structure:
 
9.0
Content:
 
10.0
Technical:
 
9.0
Emotional:
 
10.0
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful

For me, somehow they were the raw emotions of a mother to a daughter and they came very loud and clear. But then again, it might jut be me, nevertheless, a great poem.

Thanks for sharing

Nick

Owner's reply

I was thinking more of girlfriends but mother and daughter fits too.

Petit

 

I know she lies

Overall rating: 
 
9.1
Readability:
 
9.0
Structure:
 
9.0
Content:
 
9.0
Technical:
 
9.0
Emotional:
 
10.0
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful

I like it, very smooth, you connected with the reader, I felt the emotions and the hurt, the pretense, Bravo.
I'm glad I found it. Thank you for sharing.
Hugs
Annie