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White Feathers Hot



White Feathers

 

A Sparrow of an arrow came through clouds piercing

The invisibility of a blind man and the fire of life were lost.

Passion has lifted a soul beneath the sunshine,

 Constantly fighting for the birth right of new things

 Given only to the chosen one.

    

The luminosity of sorrows crossing at the sound of a dawn

A crystalline redemption fought night after night

For a chance for love. Needful things bringing

Loneliness to a Holt, Surely I had words of an ink heart

Pushing the silence of my mind inside twilight.

 

The rhythm of life follows a dream of melodies

A sequence of creation allowed sincerity to flourish

The odor of life, a climate of ecstasy

Sinking inside her veins Realism across their face

Untamed heart Find your calling inside the realm of regrets.     

 

Through the currency of love, many stood weak and fragile

Expectation of the unexpected, Set off and seek the face of purity  

But the anatomy of it all giving you one more chance

The rose open up and. Let the nectar drip unto the valleys of man.

 

The honesty of love, was lost by the pound, since the year of rain

Came in went to The other side of the river bank

Shorten your breath, and inhale pureness through a glass window.

The image of passion walking with her eyes close, seeking

The trust of a kiss given by lips of an angel...

 

 

 

Rony Joseph all rights reserved 2010

 

 

User reviews

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Overall rating: 
 
8.0
Readability:
 
9.0   (1)
Structure:
 
7.0   (1)
Content:
 
7.0   (1)
Technical:
 
8.0   (1)
Emotional:
 
9.0   (1)
 
 

Good.

Overall rating: 
 
8.0
Readability:
 
9.0
Structure:
 
7.0
Content:
 
7.0
Technical:
 
8.0
Emotional:
 
9.0
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

I found this poem deeper than preconceptions would have one expect. The name white feather calls on one to tie love with ideas of supplication and powerlessness, yet I can't quite detect that as a primary meaning with any degree of consistency. It's very well written in parts, with an impressive and seemingly deliberate capacity for ambiguity; but there are also signs of naivety, such as occasional grammatical errors such as in line two. However, I cannot but complement you, with a hint of bias, with regards to how nice it is to read a poem that is not dominated by rhyme, and wisely considers rhyme to be a subconscious element of the form of a poem which should neither be noticeable or dominant. All in all, I was fairly impressed.

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